Mother Knows Best: Mere Psychotherapy, Part 3

Families are as complicated as they are important; and so are anti-mentors.

It's a joy to be hidden, and a disaster not to be found" ~ D.W. Winnicott

I hope you're proud of yourself for the times you've said 'yes' when all it meant was extra work for you and was seemingly helpful only to somebody else." ~ Mr. Rogers

Abbi is 13 and her mother has brought her to counseling after Abbi’s mother learned that Abbi had been sexually exploited by a predator who Abbi met online. I routinely schedule their first appointment to meet with Abbi and her mother at their home. Not surprisingly they insist on having a female therapist. I am able to have a detailled and civil conversation with them lasting the entire therapy hour about (it’s not as simple or obvious as it seems) why having a female therapist is important to them and what factors into an effective (or potentially restorative!) therapeutic relationship.

At the end of the first meeting I negotiate to return to administer a trauma assessment and allow Abbi and her mother to discuss if they want to continue to work wi…